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You'll always remember a scare
I spoke to a sports columnist about smoking and he said, "I can't speak with authority about others," he said, "but I know that Americans are trained from childhood to want to win. Or, looking at it another way, we hate to lose. And what we hate to lose most of all, I think, is our self-respect.
"Now look at a typical girl in an office. Annie decides that she's smoking too much. Her fingers and teeth are tattle-tale yellow, and her purse has got a layer of tobacco shreds at its bottom. She announces her big decision. She tells her family and friends and her co-workers. She sets a date and a time. She throws away any extra packs of cigarettes she has in her desk, or she gives them to the boys in the mail-room. And then Annie does it. She actually stops smoking.
"But," my friend continued, "it only lasts for a while. She starts to smoke again. Her friends tease her. And she herself is disturbed by her failure. Where's her will power? Her moral strength? Down goes Annie's self-respect.
"So, because she just doesn't want to lose that self-respect, up she comes with an interesting excuse. Annie explains that she did, after all, succeed in stopping for a few days. Long enough to prove to herself that she could stop any time she wanted to if she was really, underline really, determined to stop. And having proved that to herself, it was okay to start smoking again.
"In short, Annie is more frightened of the fact that she may flop in her efforts to stop smoking than she is of the effects of continued smoking". Here, too, I could recognize myself. It is a blow to one's ego to fail, again and again, at something that seems so simple.
I then discussed the matter with a professor of education. "Easy enough to understand", he said. "Every teacher knows it. People remember what they want to remember. They forget what they do not want to remember. "Oh!" and they remember what surprises them. "Sorry," I said, "but you've lost me."
"I'll give you an example," he answered. "Two young people meet and fall in love. When you're courting, it's important to remember little things. What's more, you want to remember them. So they remember everything: the first day they met, the first time they dined together, their first dance, their first kiss, the weather on the day he proposed.
For a woman, this is the most exciting, romantic time of her life. She wants to remember it. She always does. For the man, it's done and over. It was kid stuff. He's anxious to forget what he thinks of as hooey. Five years later, he doesn't even remember their anniversary date. "Sure," I said, "but now about smoking. . . ."
"Please pay attention", he directed. "You do not want to remember the terrifying statistics about cancer and heart disease and bronchitis. So you don't. You do want to remember the so-called pleasures of smoking. So you do.
"And", he continued, rising in his chair as if to end a class, "you'll always remember the cranberry scare, even though it's over and done with, and even though cranberries are safe and delectable. That's because it surprised you. If I tell you now that tight shoes cause cirrhosis, you'll also remember that." "Do they?" I asked. "No," he said, "but you'll remember it."
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